Well, hot and humid this mornin', but, thank heaven, another good thunderstorm, here this evenin'; still and all, nothin' ta fill up the ponds, but a darn good rain, water the grass and turn'er back on.
Still kinda "on the mend" from the big push, "make pretty" for the owners, but makin' progress there, too. Seems like everything kinda come to a head, all the same time; finally got the files off to the printer, the owners arrived, we closed the deal on The Bend and it started to rain. Last few days, I have been stumblin' around, a little, but, little by little findin' some quiet time and small jobs, get me back to earth; finally got my engine started, late yesterday, ended up workin' into the moonlight, tryin' ta patch up the boys corral, but it, sure felt good, fresh air after the rain and workin' with my hands, 'steada cell phones, emails and "deals".
Been thinkin' some about the difference, folks live in town and have jobs, compared to life out here; least what I made of it. Rememberin' how hard I tried to fit in; musta tried every kinda job ya can think of. Truck drivin', I suppose, close as I come to makin' a livin', but even there, I only made it five years, for I had a heart episode. When I finally give up and went back to horses, what I'd grown up around, I sure come out here, bound and determined, I'd never go back.
Maybe it's just my temprament, but "jobs" and city life was just too fractured and chaotic for me; turnin' yourself off and trudgin' along, waitin' for the weekend, when ya might can live a little, only ta find, time the weekend comes, your whole definition of livin' got turned around, for what all ya went through durin' the week. Seems there come a point where I had ta find a whole life. It wasn't the "work", though 90% of it seemed, somehow dishonest, in many ways, and I likely work four or five times harder out here, for pennies on a dollar I'd make in town. But, it is a "whole" life; me, the animals, the earth, we each play a part, we genuinely appreciate and watch out for each other and sun up to dark and into the night, it all fits together; it all matters. There is no weekend and I better be "on", if I have a clue, 'cause anything like "back up" is miles and hours away. The beauty, any sense of random or arbitrary, is a distant recollection.
I was thinkin' today, "how different; on one hand ya could say I'm fully extended, some might say, over extended, but there is somethin' wonderful about carin' and havin' a chance, give it all you have, everyday and seein' so much come back, in the harmony, of the earth, the animals and my own heart.". It's a whole life and I'm a lucky duck; all there is to it!
Have a nice night!
Best,
Jeune
P.S. Thanks, again to Brandon Johnson for his camera work!
That picture up top is a masterpiece! I'd love to see that in a big size hanging on a wall for those of us who don't get to see the sky much because of all the trees, which by the way I'm very thankful for, but I love BIG moody skies, and with you there, puts the whole mood in perspective. Spectacular!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. I never did "fit in" either. Worked in a big cardiology office (always trying not to RUN!), and as soon as I figured out you could do medical transcription at home, I learned what needed to be done, gave my notice, and got myself out of the city. I just stood up here when I got North and "breathed." My eyes not believing where I was. My heart not understanding the full scope of the gift and chance the Creator had given me. I get it now though! My goodness, it's a wonderful way to live ... maybe money "challenged" at times, but the heart/Spirit/soul isn't made out of dollar bills, it's made out of love.
Glad the rain came a bit and you could work with your hands. There's something very satisfying about bringing the wood in, walking the dogs, just being outside getting things done, even if I have to hire some things done because I don't work as good as I used to at heavy work. What a blissful existence. ♥
Don't melt in the sun now, Jeune .. it's very messy, :D
Peaceful