And, another beautiful day, land of enchantment. Cool nights, warm days, correspondence from friends doin' wonderful things; young people, old folks, stuff that don't make the "news".
And, ya another dream, speakin' of "news" and stuff that "don't make it", me and a homeless fella; I was leavin' my truck at a parkin' lot, let's say Albuquerque. This old fella was tellin' me, that, really, it was "his" parkin' lot and I should give him a couple a dollars for parkin'. I was listenin' and this other fella comes up screamin' and yellin' at the old fella, explainin' how he was crazy, this was a public lot and he should just go away and leave folks alone. Well, thank goodness, the loud fella went away and the old fella, who'd taken some leave come back and we started discussin' what would be a fair price for me leavin' my truck there, some while, nice and civilized; figurin', that if I had somewhere around a dollar in change, that'd be pretty good.
Now, you might wonder why I'd go on and strike a deal with the old fella, when, odds are, that loud fella was actually layin' out the "truth", so, I'll tell you another story, actually happened. I was waitin' for a ride outside the grocery store, Cuba, New Mexico; 'bout once a month, lady down the road goes ta do her laundry and knowin' the very "iffy" condition of the ranch truck here, she offers me a lift, to the store. Anyway, this native fella comes up, as often happens here abouts and asks if I have any spare change. I explain that I don't have much and we proceed to find another topic of conversation; maybe names, Israel his, I believe, shakin' hands, where ya from, horses, somethin'. This goes on a little and, apparently, just long enough for him to have forgot askin' me for some change, so, he asks me again. This time I explain, that I only have two dollars, but, agree that if I gave him one, I'd still have one, and, that seemed an acceptable deal. Then, we go on a little futher and, again, absent minded or not, he asks me if I could spare some change. I laugh and say, "look, I only had two dollars and I already gave you one, if I give you another, I won't have any!". All of a sudden he looks at me, kinda worried and puts his hand on my arm; "never say you don't enough", and proceeds to quote a chapter and verse from the Bible, I suppose.
Right about then, the lady give me a lift, comes out a the store and holds out a bag a groceries for my native friend; everybody kinda surprised and cheerful. We all exchange cordialities, load up my groceries, back a her truck, her and me climb in, wave to our new friend and head for home. My lady friend/ride turns and looks at me, "you gave him your lunch money, didn't you?". I think for a minute and confess, "yes, I reckin' I did"; so, she volunteers, that she has to get gas and gives me two dollars, get each of us a hamburger, my dollar just enough for a icecream we split.
When I get home, I look up that chapter and verse, Bible in the outhouse; it was the part where many were fed with a little.
Last night I took the truck, loaded up my tools and headed for The Bend, see about settin' some posts. I got up to the gate onto The Bend and it started to rain; blowin' in from the North. Don't take much, out here, turn dirt to mud and this rain was comin' in fair. I turned off the truck, sat there and watched; setting sun beams, all fanned out, streamin' through silver grey clouds, rain drops on the hood, splashing and leapin' like kids in a puddle. Windows half down, the wind rushing in, or around as it could, fresh and cool, a world misty gray green, rain only, mostly shut out; not exactly a neatly wrapped world, but a world spoken sweetly and well.
Have a nice evening!
Best,
jeune
And, another, peach! It's still gettin' warm, but the sun has shifted and we're past the intensity of summer, least up here, 7000 feet.
Got the tank back in the truck, but this time it's fer holes. Our ponds are pretty fair, since the rains of July, but I gotta set some posts, over on The Bend and water, sure helps; ya might can get a foot or so, with a bar, but add a gallon a water, let it sit a spell and that'll give ya two. "Repeat as necessary".
Talked to the young fella, might can weld a gate, but the fence on either side is "trash"; someone got a wild hair, one day and decided to drive a piece a heavy equipment, right over the top. Mighta been the neighbors, but the question has been addressed, so we won't re-prosecute; we all make mistakes, then hopeful, we all move on, "try not to repeat them", as a wise man once said.
Anyway, ya, cooler weather and I'm gettin' a hair more en-thusiast, as regards projects and ponies; heat and years make a tough couple. And, seems, I mighta crossed a bridge inside myself; no big deal, one hand, but personal, huge. Had a parent used to drink con-siderable and I remember first time I noticed, plain, likes kids can, eyes that haven't learn not to see; the reaction wasn't violent, so to say, but as I often say about horses, "you don't have to hit 'em with a hammer; moment in time, you just show it to 'em, and they completely understand the implications". So, it was more like that, I was simply and clearly, put on notice; "around here we don't notice anything! You go noticin' things and there will be consequences!"
Last night, I had a dream, simple really; it was a party and we'd all been there a while. Occurred to me this "parent" had been there too, wondering around, kinda like some odd host; wondering here and there, not particular engaged with anyone. Occured to me, get there attention, next time they passed by, introduce myself and I did. They stopped and looked at me, a little too close; a polite, but painted smile. I stood up, kinda leanin' on the back of the chair with one hand, compensate for their crowdin' me, like they were and, as I was able, moved the chair back a bit, so I could stand up straight and comfortable with a little fresh air 'tween us, my cowboy hat removed and held aside. I introduced myself usin' my full name and held out my hand. And, to my surprise, I noticed that they were quite small and only vaguely aware of our past; maybe anypast, anymore.
That parent passed away, when I was quite young and I suspect there were a lotta things we never got worked out, but I reckin' they just needed to go "home" and start over. But that dream, sure struck me, not 'cause it was "them" in any real sense, but a bad impression that may have been "crowdin'" me for some years; hostin' a strange party, where no one "notices" anyone and never "says" anything. So, come to a point in my life, where I had to/could stand up and say my name, understand I've grown, real and taller than the past, that's somethin'; might have taken 50 years, but still somethin'!
And, maybe, just understandin' the difference 'tween the person and the "ghost", lets me bury the "ghost" and keep the person; afterall, my own ancestor, human like me.
Have a nice evening.
Best,
jeune
And, another peach of a day! Cool, still damp from the showers of yesterday eve; all the plants and trees, a silver shawl in the mornin' light.
And, a few more conversations, with friends here and there; possibilities of South Dakota and New Mexico. A ride for the north, maybe a screenin', "38" for the south.
Quite amazin' really; a parta me tryin' to catch up, "wait, wait, I haven't even decided to go!". Another, just sizin' and sawin', shootin' the lines, aimin' ta build a bridge.
Did, get another mosie in, late afternoon; that "sizin' and sawin'" can sure lend a thirst for fresh air! And, sweet as the eve was comin', after another rain, well, just weren't no way, say "no".
Mud a little slick in places, but by and large, not bad. The sun was still an hour or better above the horizon, the clouds had passed, the combination of warmth and wind, a fine wine, as I topped the hill, raised a hand ta block the sun and squinted off to the south west, see if the bunch was still on the south end. Took a minute, but, ya they were; in the brighter light a day, I'm like ta pick out Big, the old ropin' horse, with sore feet, black like a bear, from a distance. I crossed the smooth wire and headed out across the slope, wild flowers soakin' up the last drops of summer, down across the arroyo and up the other side to the gentle ridge and old cedar trees, kinda separates the last pasture to the west 'fore the neighbors.
There they were all dolled up with mud, most all nappin' or mindin' over a friend nap; kinda pointin' every which way, baskin' in the fine warm after the rain, 'fore the evenin' cool. Felt like a nursery, calm and thick with "nap", like it was; the breeze musta quit, mosquitoes, too, still as it was, all succumb to the restful hour.
Big was the closest and I'd noticed his hooves needin' a trim, other day, when I saw 'em up by the tank, so I paid my respects and give him a scratch and fixed ta pick up his feet; I had grabbed my nippers as I was leavin', case I got a chance. What a sweet afternoon; Big half asleep as I stepped in, under, gathered a hoof, scraped off the mud and worked my nippers around his toes, his foot between my knees. Tubby, Queenie and Big Missy, all figurin' it seems, that this was noteworthy, wanderin' over and re-situatin' for another little nod, all circled up around Big.
Some coyotes sent up a yelp and yahoo; close from the sound, but none to the eye, as I scanned the trees, upside down, as I could from my spot under Big. I finished up Bigs last foot and stood up to look around. Turned out there must a been a pack, 'cause there was three pups, sizin' us up, cute as a cartoon, all spread out to the west, down wind, backs to the sun; camoflaged, aglow, like large dandelion tops with wobbly legs. They'd get brave and head right up our way, then as if they remembered somethin' their mother had said, they peel off and circle back, then start to scoot, like some scary thought just crossed their mind. Finally, 'tween figurin' they musta got tired too, 'cause, whatever we were, me, the horses and Whichy, my pup, we must notta seemed too scary 'cause they just decided to sit down and watch, pretty close; three noses, six eyes and ears, just poised a mid the golden grass, for the moment, just cousins.
Anyway, quite an evenin'! Little by little the horses started to drift and I followed, south a ways, just drinkin' in their colors, hand on a rump, then I broke and headed home, cross the arroyo, over by old Ranger's little plot. Happy to see his little pile of dirt and logs, was lookin' quite nice; grass growin' in between, all tidy and proper. I know it's just a pile a charred bones, Ranger gone to greener pasture, but still, it felt good; "even your bones, my friend, even your bones; could I help 'em lie pretty, could I help 'em lie safe, 'neath a New Mexico sky."
Have a nice night!
Best,
jeune
Well, my low pressure, "maybe we'll get some coolin' rain" scenario, didn't quite pan out; is a little early. But, it was a nice cool mornin'; slightly different aromas in the air, with an ever so slight inclination toward the fragrance of fall.
Otherwise, just a little "tarred"; all this back and forth with folks up in South Dakota and figurin' what and how, I might can do. But, even in the consideration, there's so much learnin' and new parts of my heart, excavated. And, I suppose that's the beauty; long before ya ever take a physical step, on the path of heart, there are so many internal, not exactly physical steps, consideration, "what does it mean to follow my heart; how does that work? Can I really follow this through; how do I live this out?
Beautiful lines in "The Prophet", Kahlil Gibran, talks about lovin'; "darin'" to love.
" For even as love crowns you so shall it crucify you. Even as it is for your growth so is it for your pruning.
Even as it ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall it descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth."
Thing is, ya do get addicted, as he goes on to describe the unacceptable alternative:
"...the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."
And, I'm not tryin' to set up "another" set a "scales", to judge myself, or anybody else, that'd be "another" one a those paths, that "never really went anywhere". I believe all of us, one way or another, we do take steps, every day, for love; some of 'em visible, some of 'em not, some of 'em conscious, some of 'em not, some of 'em wise, some of 'em not.
Point is, my mind, sooner or later, it all comes home to Love and "what are we gonna do?". Friend a mine wrote a beaytiful song, called "The Power of Love". There's a line, "you can turn your head and walk away", and we do, but there's another song, another great song, Brudda Bob (Marley), "One love" and another line, supposin' for the moment, as folks have said, that Creator IS Love, "ain't no hidin' place, from the Father (Mother) of creation.
So, I'm just supposin', that "long as a human has a heart", to quote a wise man I have known, sooner or later, we all gotta make peace with Love. And, that's a fantastic thing, 'cause without Love, that "seasonless world", everything ends up kinda grey.
So, ya, I'm a little "tarred" and ya, the trail's been a little "testy", here late, but "oh, the colors; the colors! God Bless the colors!
Have a great day!
Best,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=4xjPODksI08&fulldescription=1
P.S. Photo Credit and Thanks To Brandon Johnson
jeune
Well, a nice mild day; pretty fair cloud cover, special out to the west. Hopeful, this'll be some a those coolin' rains, apt to come, early September, take the temps all down a notch; though I might be a little ahead a the curve.
I'm kinda waitin' on a call from a fella up in South Dakota, talk over a few questions I have 'bout the ride; where, how I might fit in. I'm still pretty amazed after this documentary and all, how the folks I talk to, who are actually in the movie, are so accessible, down to earth and hospitable. My mind, that's pretty amazin'; so often, folks get a little attention and, all of a sudden, they kinda leave the rest of us behind. Just hope I can rise to "the bar" and stick with the beautiful premise behind the ride and all, "none of us can do this alone; it's gonna take all of us!".
'Cause really, the Dakota 38, trajic as it was, this is just one small piece of the puzzle, even among our indigenous family; there's Wounded Knee, Chief Joseph's last stand, The Trail of Tears, The Navajo Long March, The Potawatomi Death March. The list goes on and on. And, everywhere there are "issues", with the Earth, the climate, polution and among different people. But, the beautiful point and, slightly ironic, until and unless we get off our "high horses", admit there are problems and we can't "lick 'em" alone, we aren't likely, get anywhere.
Just thinkin' last night, why I'm inclined, stay away from politics; so often it's just a tool, deftly used by some that got "power", keep us fightin', 'mong ourselves and keep the "power" in their hands. No coincidence, my mind, it's by an large a "two party system" and so many folks have "bi-polar disorder".
So, for a bunch a folks to climb on a "small horse", get together and ride, beyond the tar roads, a little less dependent on "the automobile", by pass the "oil cartel", reach out to one another and the ancestors, as it says, beginnin' of the documentary, "un-affiliated, with any political or religious agenda", but just people, wantin', knowin', "we" gotta find a way, this is truly, huge!
And, all I can say is, "yes, please, count me in; "we" gotta start somewhere!".
Have a great day!
Best,
P.S. Photo credit and thanks to Brandon Johnson, Santa Fe Photography
jeune
Well, another cooler day, with a little shower thrown in for good luck.
Simple day I suppose; half of it spent talkin' to folks about Dakota 38. The other, more prayer/listen time. Occurs to me, gettin' older, how time is so precious and I am surrounded by 10,000 things I could do, but I really want to know/feel/see, if possible, the most lovin'. Been a little like a sorta vision quest, I suppose, since I been back, but I'm startin' to feel a little like the old indian in "Little Big Man" who goes out to die and lies on the hill side, only to get woke up by a shower and decides, "it's not a good day to die". But, one way or another, it has been a gift; even to feel the longin' to know. Bottom line, however, I'm thinkin' it's time to get movin'; though there have been moments in my life, where some kind of vision, or dream came to me, I'd say, equal the times, where I just put one foot in front of the other and "the wisdom" slipped into the doin'. I suppose it's kinda like that sayin', "all's fair in love and war"; and, while I don't know much about war, I sure believe this is "love". So, I'll try anything or everything, if that's what it takes. And, I remember some advice, a wise man once give me to that effect; "do, undo, whatever it takes, so long as it does happen".
Sides, if anything has become clear, over the years, it would have to be "the gift". I mean really, what can we do; very little, very little. But with a little try and a "gift", it could just be that anything is possible.
Gotta leave you with this song from Dakota 38; it's an old song, pre-dates the documentary but this version is in the film. It's very sweet and I was just noticin' today how it's called "spirit medicine". Always knew it was a healing song, but just like the movie, many times it's really, all about our "spirit"; if that's poor, little will be well. If that is strong, even so many wrongs can be rit!
Have a nice night!
Best,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&hl=en&client=mv-google&v=NwUxXQlKvHs&fulldescription=1
jeune
Well, one sweet, mild mornin' and, 'cordin' to the weatherman, rain on tap and cooler air.
Didn't make it too far, yesterday; reckin' I'm still assimilatin'. Takin' in changes, considerin' all the factors and options, lookin' for the "lovin' math".
I remember a good friend a mine talkin' about flyin', where he travels a lot. He talked about some inter-continental flights, where you get up so high, "there's no scenery to take in", so, ya just keep goin' and keep goin'. And, I remember remarkin', when he said that, a sense of "Life" talkin' to me, again; that there are times, when there's not too much to do, 'cept trust, and wait and watch and remember, that life is "afoot". And, like a plane, or a river, it can carry us to a place where we can see and then, the doin' is plain.
I guess trustin' is the really important part; imagin' the "stress" that would build upon a cannon ball, clingin' to the sides of the cannon, once fired, screamin', "wait, wait, I don't know where we're goin'!". Mr. Gibran, in "The Prophet", speakin' of parents and children, referred to them as bows and arrows in the hand of Creator; "don't worry, so God loves the arrow in flight, so he loves the bow that is strong".
Anyway, I do love that sense of travel and, maybe, by association, the notion of evolution; what little I know about the Christian scriptures, my favorite stories are the ones that reflect God himself (herself?) learnin'! Really, there are parts where he kinda gets into debates with some a the humans about the best course of action, or reconsiders some reaction and figures he mighta been "hasty"; like the flood and his rainbow.
Anyway, I do believe there is "journey" afoot and trust, a "tea" that sweet and strong; the hand that packed the cannon, that drew the bow, is genius and kind, older and wiser, now. No need to fear, but, like a child, trust; "what a ride, so much to see; and yes, my bag WAS packed, with love, and all I would need for the trip and whatever the "doin'", once arrived at my "stop".
Have a great day!
Best,
P.S. Thanks to Brandon Johnson, Santa Fe Photography Pro.
jeune
And, well, we haven't had a big temperature drop, since the last, where we kinda dropped ten degrees off our daily highs, but there are different signs a change, here and there. One I noticed most, is a clear night sky. Don't know why, but past few nights, I been noticin' the sky and the stars, like they hadn't been round for a while and the nights are cooler, but that likely come with the daytime drop.
Anyway, I sure love the fall; every inch a the heats undoin'. And, just yesterday, I noticed the grass losin' it's bloom, where the rain has quit and the temps are milder and that's a fair thing; grass gets too rich and I gotta start worryin' 'bout the size a my horse belly's.
Otherwise, I suppose I'm startin' to assimilate some a recent events and inspiration; feels like I kinda took a step inside myself. Funny about the "inner" world, there aren't really, any "lights" that come on to say, "step taken", or switches you can see with your eyes, to say, "yup, it's up, that's on!". Closer to some kinda "resolve", I suppose, maybe a commitment; step or not, taken or not, I must move.
Maybe, it's like one a those dreams; don't know if you ever had one. But, seems I've had dreams where somethin' was happenin' and I needed to/wanted to respond. But, much as I knew what I wanted to do, there was some kinda "gum" in the works and I couldn't get passed it; maybe like bein' stuck in slow motion, when everythin' around you is at "normal" speed.
Seems like something similar takin' place within' me, only maybe in reverse; more I get used to the world of the Heart, more I get a sense of what it means to "move" within it and what kind of "intent" it requires. Extremely sweet! Reminds me of the story of Milarepa and his teacher, Marpa. I read it years ago, in my late teens, but the impact of Marpa's love for Mila, was so clear, that, somehow, it changed my life, forever; the power of Love to move us in ways we could never imagine. Worlds, we could never imagine.
So, maybe it's that simple; loves power to awaken us to a world and a way, in which we can move, somehow, truly. So, simple. So powerful. Really, unbelievable.
Have a great day!
Best,
jeune
Well, sunny and mild, with a gentle breeze from the northeast, judgin' by all the smoke in the tent! Summer time, I don't use the woodstove much, ruther I use the dirt oven in the "foyer". And, seein' where I left the black pepper in the log house and got lazy, I can confirm, it is the black pepper, puts the "snap" in the boiled black tea; recipe for which you will find in my "soon to be released, best seller"! (Well, it has to be my best seller, as it is the only book I ever wrote!) And, yes, I do believe I have become a character from Andy Griffith's Mayberry. Maybe all at once; a little bit a Andy, Floyd, Barnie, Gomer, Aunt Bee and Opie.
I'm gonna bring in a guest author, here this mornin', "sans" permission, but where he is a well known author and I aren't makin' any money on this, I don't figure he'd mind me givin' him the podium, all in the name of "the song":
The Real Work
by Wendell Berry
It may be that when we no longer know what to do
we have come to our real work,
and that when we no longer know which way to go
we have come to our real journey.
The mind that is not baffled is not employed.
The impeded stream is the one that sings.
"The Real Work" by Wendell Berry, from Standing by Words. © 1983,
Similar kinda consideration been on my mind, late, where I kinda picked "the trail less travelled" some years back and more recent, gettin' older and livin' with the harvest, how, ya can't expect anyone ta understand what it's like; ya just gotta own it and understand for yourself, the "pros and the cons". And, takin' it one step futher, inchin' back toward Mr. Berry's poem, if, at this point, I don't exactly know where I'm goin', I just gotta love it and understand, "Of course! Ya break off on your own, there might not be a path!".
And, this the great gift; need! Jumpin' forward or backward, to some a little younger, our own "Rollin' Stones", with their sweet children's choir, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, ya just might get what ya need!". And, my suspicion, that what I "need", is actually, what I always, truly wanted.
So, here I am, plumb "in the woods", every which way, and grateful, 'cause my "need" is clear; direction. No "desperation", 'cause, really I've been here before; some years now. But, clear need and the knowin' that I'm not alone and the need is actually met in the knowin'. And, one more time, I get to get shown; it's true, there's no such thing as alone. And, it's possible, there never was a "path", that ever, really, went anywhere!
Have a great day.
Best,
jeune
Well, yes, the day kinda got away from me and here it is evenin' and I'm just gettin' round ta writin'. And, a different kinda day. Just when I figured it might be startin' ta cool off, it come on pretty darn warm, this one; got up toward ninety degrees. Which, might not sound too hot to some folks, but up at this altitude, with all the rain and humidity we've had, and me gettin' ta be an old geezer, well, plenty hot enough.
Anyway, hardly got out ta see the ponies today, other than throw a flake for the boys, but I was goin' round and round with the publisher, on the book. They've really been quite good and helpful, but I did order one more "proof", just to make sure everything come out right, where we'd made a few corrections on the first proof; a lot of electronics in the middle and I don't have a lot of faith, thereabouts. Anyway, it all come out quite right, but they forgot to do the cover, then when they did, it wasn't the same as the first.
The lady from the press was real nice and offered to do it again, but I got stuck on the fact that a "proof is a proof" and one of the things I was tryin' ta prove, was that they could do the same job twice; that bein' part of the overall equation, our end, the electronic part and their end. Anyway, it all worked out and we "pushed the button"; should have books, the end of the month. But, it sure was an educational moment for me. And, maybe "just for me", but I'll try and explain, case there's somethin' in it for you.
And, it's a delicate subject; I sure wouldn't wanta get too high on my horse, or soapbox, about, 'cause I go pointin' fingers and there's generally a bunch pointin' back at me. But, there are moments in life, where, either you are or you aren't, it is or it isn't and all the explanations on earth, won't change a thing. It's that simple.
Now, this very likely, had little to do with the publisher; I think it was just one a those moments when Life was talkin' to me and it just happened to be that circumstance, provided a way, 'cause everybody else I talked to, checkin' my reality, kinda looked at me curious. But, I'll tell ya what, somehow I got it; there are moments in life, when, either you are or you aren't, it is or it isn't and all the explanations on earth, won't change a thing.
I don't really want to hear it, I don't really want to look at it; a parta me wants to soften it, a parta me wants to dismiss and rationalize it, and maybe I should. Could just be one a those great excuses, beat myself up. But, a part of me, somewhere, somehow is like to remember, 'cause I think there' a little somethin' to it, looked at just, so.
Have a nice night!
Best,
jeune
And, another beautiful day in the neighborhood. Rained quite some last night, or early this mornin', which is just a little different from the usual late afternoon deal. Makes me think we are "fixin' to transition" toward some a that dry, early fall weather. See what happens.
Did, finally find the wild bunch, evenin' yesterday; I hadn't had the "gas" ta walk too much, but pushed myself a little, last night, give it a go. They have been up in the trees quite some, recent, I figure, with the mosquitoes and all, but I caught a glimpse of Queenie, way out younder by the old homestead, venturin' out just a bit, where there was a good breeze, carryin' the mosquitoes off to the north.
So, good to see them! I reckin' I was a little shy, too, horses so partial to "the herd" and my bein' quite absent, of late, wasn't sure how they'd take me. But, they all seemed quite willin' accept me for what I am; a human. One of the "curious lot", but, by and large, sympathetic; glad maybe, erratic as I may be, that I do show up and I do care.
So, I visited with each one, lendin' a scratch with the curry and checkin' for cuts and bruises, hooves for wear. And, I'm always curious, see how Tubby's doin'. He and I goin' back the futhest and knowin' I made some big mistakes with him, way back when I first got back with the horses, I always wonder where and how's his attitude. And, general, it's the same; he's busy, his agenda, eatin' or hangin' with Big, or wantin' one a the girls to stand still, so he can get situated and rub the flies off his face. But, almost always, special when it's been a few days, almost two weeks, this time, my trip to L.A. and all, he'll put his nose in my neck and just stay there, breathin', about a minute. Always fascinates me.
No surprise, really, when ya consider the size of a horses nose and how that might reflect "what's important" to them, and the fact their eyes don't focus so well up close, but what would it be like to know the world, so largely, by smell? And does the smell conjure up memories, like it might for us, or just a feelin', what it was like to be together, back then, chasin' cows? Who I am, or who I have been? Maybe, where I've been? Maybe, what I've been through late? Maybe what I've been eatin'; like all those spicy Indian dishes, my friends fed me in L.A.? Maybe all of the above and more, I likely can't imagine.
But, how I love their company; their contentment with so little. The herd, grass, water, local politcs, the weather, day and night, the seasons, news on the wind, the humans that come and go; so full, truly, yet, nothing somehow, compared to all the things we seem to "need". And, all processed and shared without a word, in some silent bio-chemical world, I doubt we can imagine.
I suppose it just touches that part a me, longs so much, to experience life fully, beyond all my "little" ideas and desires; free from my plans and designs on all the things I "think" will make my life "better", tomorrow. To be alive and together; fascinated and complete, in the boarderless world of alive, NOW.
Have a nice afternoon!
Best,
jeune
Well, it rained, sure enough! At least one good down pour, followed by a good, long, slow soaker. Actually lit a fire, warm it up and dry out the tent a bit, on toward dark.
Still re-collectin' my self, but there are signs of thawin'; largely tryin' to digest all the love and kindness I found along the way, there and back, midst the chaos and commotion of traffic and travel and large cities. Funny thing about feelin' so much, there's a big part a me wants ta "do" somethin' and I suppose, that "does" happen, but likely, mark of the teachin', all these years, always seems like the first step, is just ta do nothin'; just to feel what I feel and let it transform me. Which is, likely, why I got started on this path to begin with; just a wee suspicion, that the way we see things, what we believe, how we feel, colors our whole experience of life in unbelievable ways. And, if that were true, and it was possible to be transformed, that I really wanted that in my life. If, as my teacher once said, "the good is so good, that it far, far outweighs the bad", I really wanted to know that; see that for myself. Live it.
So, one more story I remember from the event: Three turtles decided to go for a picnic, Momma, Poppa and Junior. They packed up a basket and headed out; they left early mornin', but where it was about half a mile, out to the lake, it was next day about noon, 'fore they arrived. Once they arrived and unpacked the basket, the pop realized he forgot the pickles and he had really been lookin' forward to a good pickle with his sandwich. So he asked Junior, if he'd go back and get the pickles. Junior refused. "Why not?", the pop asked. "Because, while I'm gone, you'll eat my sandwich; I know you!". Well, the pop managed to re-assure Junior, that he wouldn't and Junior headed back. Mom and Pop, waited; they waited and waited. One day passed, two days passed and finally three. Pop looked at Mom and said, "you know, we better go find Junior; it's been way too long". Mom agreed, but they figured they better eat something for they left, so they got out the sandwiches and were fixin' to eat, when Junior jumped out from behind a tree and said, "see, I knew I couldn't trust you!".
Have a nice afternoon!
Best,
jeune
Hot! Or at least it seems so, but the clouds have come in heavy and low, and, if I didn't know better, I'd say they might be plannin' a shower.
Comin' up on two days back from my yearly "go see my Heart Teacher" adventure. And, adventure it was! Got to see some wonderful old friends and meet a few new ones. Got all kind a gifts and contributions to the book and The Bend and had a great time at the event; Long Beach Convention Center.
I suppose my favorite quote, best I can recall, "When you are very far away from something, it can be difficult to recognise it or appreciate it's beauty. If you don't think you're beautiful, come closer. If you don't know how, I can help."
Otherwise, seems I'm waiting a bit. Some native americans stop when they are travellin', time to time, "let their souls catch up with them". I'm not sure if it's my soul or my body, but I don't believe I'm all here just yet; thirty hours, door to door, most of it on the bus. And, while busses have come a long ways, it's still darn tricky come close to comfortable, comes time to nap. So, ya get a hour here, an hour there, and it's like ta take another hour straighten up from the lump ya might fall into, when ya can.
And, further more, the critters are well, though I haven't found the bunch yet, where I slept most a the day yesterday. And, we did lose Stinky. Young fella, stayed with the critters, reported him missin', 'bout Monday and had no luck with his efforts to find him. I did yesterday, just 'fore dark, when I did muster a wee walkabout, see if I could spot the bunch.
About a year now, he's been pretty blind, mostly deaf and recent, he was havin' trouble gettin' his rear end of the ground. The young fella stayed in the log house and Whichy, my girl pup, likely hung out there, too. I reckin', Stinko got to wonderin' where everyone was and went lookin', to the best of his somewhat, senile imagination. Looked like he got under a fence and couldn't get up. Little we can do. I suppose he's in the light. Just sorry I wasn't there for him, but time is time and least he passed in tall grass under blue skies. We'll go dig a hole and sing a song, here direct.
Anyway, my teacher did talk a little 'bout passin'; compared life to a deck a cards. "There is a first; that's birth. And, there is a last; make no mistake. But, the ones in the middle are blank and everyday you get a new one; up to us, how we color them. Make every one beautiful!"
Have a nice evenin'!
Best,
jeune
